Something that has always worried me, as I’m sure worries a lot of you too, is will I ever find true love with my condition?
- I’ve heard some awful stories about ladies who have been in relationships for a few months, confided in their partner about their condition, only to find that the relationship then ends suddenly.
- I’ve heard of men laughing at ladies when they reveal their bald patches.
- I’ve even heard of people not wanting to have sex once they have found out that their partner suffers with alopecia as they are “not as attractive!”
All of this makes me so angry and upset!
Alopecia is not a condition that you can control, nor is it a condition with any proven cure. It is a condition that causes its sufferers a lot of stress, upset and embarrassment. And it is not easy to live with!
A woman wants to feel attractive, wanted and loved. And when you are suffering with baldness, feeling attractive is an extremely hard emotion to feel. I know this because it is something that I think about every single day.
There are days when I wake up, look in the mirror and cry at my reflection thinking “why me?”. I get embarrassed when I get out of the bath and I have to wash it out 3 or 4 times until all the hair has washed away. If someone asks to borrow my hairbrush I will pretend that I don’t have one, just so that I don’t have to give them mine which is full of hair. I will even admit that I get jealous when I see other girls with naturally beautiful hair, and I wish that it could be mine.
Lacking in self confidence and feeling low about yourself, is one of the hardest things you have to deal with when you suffer with alopecia. They say that it can be triggered by stress, and feeling like I do sometimes, causes me to stress an awful lot. I need people around me that bring me up, make me feel good about myself and people that are not going to judge me for my appearance. People who love me for who I am. This is what brings me to the whole topic of this blog post. Without my amazingly supportive family, friends and partner I would not be where I am today.
I’ve had someone in my life who has been one of my rocks throughout this condition. When we first met he only knew that I had small patches (that I would hide underneath a flower in my hair!) and now, he rubs my treatment onto my head each and every night. I couldn’t ask for someone more supportive.
There have been many times that I have cried in his arms because I have felt ugly and scared that he would leave me because I was going bald. Or that he would find another girl with perfect hair and prefer her to me. Never has he done anything but made me feel beautiful. He has always told me that he loves me for who I am and that it doesn’t matter to him if I have hair or not. To me, that means more than anything in the world.
If you are reading this post now thinking that you want to tell your partner about your alopecia or you want to show them for the first time. I would honestly say that you should. If that person loves you they will stick by you no matter what troubles come your way and they will do everything in their power to make you feel like the amazing person that you are. Appearances change, it is what is on that inside that truly matters.
In 60 years time we will all be old, grey and frail. You will still be the same person that you are now, just with a different appearance.
So don’t let any man/woman make you feel that you are ugly because you are bald. And don’t let anyone make you feel that you are anything but beautiful. As someone once said to me (inspired by Bruno Mars)
“You’re amazing, just the way you are!”